CRIMINAL JUSTICE

When we were kids and went scrumping
One thing was perfectly clear
If the owner was swift and could catch us
We’d all get a clip round the ear

At school our head teacher Miss Brewer
Our achievements she’d readily cheer
But if we were rude or just naughty
She’d give us a clip round the ear

Back at home we’d behave if our dad spoke
Especially if he’d had a beer
If not we’d be asking for trouble
And deserve the odd clip round the ear

And what of our local policeman
He of that stalwart career
If he saw us get up to mischief
We’d soon feel his hand round our ear

Yet none of us grew up as muggers
Leaving their victims in tears
Stop treating these vandals with kid gloves
And give them a clip round the ears