Dastardly Duvets.

I’ve got myself one of those duvets
Much better than blankets they say
So easy to make up the bed
And worth it for what you pay.

I dived into bed, Oh so cosy
Pulled the duvet up to my chin
But my feet they stuck out at the bottom
And the air it was getting quite thin.

So I curled up in bed like a S bend
Then started to get rather warm
In an hour, had quite a sweat on
Which in turn starts an itch on my corn.

By two in the morning, I nearly gave up
With the duvet first up and then down
Torn between heatstroke and frost bite
I put on my old dressing gown.

Four in the morning, can’t stand any more
This nightmare just has to end
From the cupboard, I draw out my blankets again
To Oxfam the duvet I’ll send.

I’m all for joining with Europe
Quite fond of their Pasta and such
But in future those continental quilts
I’ll leave to the French and the Dutch.